this is about sex & it’s quite personal so here’s the readmore bar for anyone who knows me in person and is not down for this lmao

it weirds me out sooooo much how everyone has sex in college

like I think I didn’t have many close friends, or many mainstream close friends, during the time in high school when sex became the norm in relationships, so I kind of missed it, and now I’m suddenly among all these people who just EXPECT to bang their significant others after a few weeks and I’m kind of like ??????

so I’m totally not at all on their same page and it’s super weird. I’m not dating anyone so it’s nbd right now but I’m sort of concerned about how that’ll go down when the issue comes up, assuming I’m not single for the entire four years of college

I just don’t care about sex that much so the idea of learning to navigate sexual relationships is like… ok but we could just stop at making out so why make it complicated. like I don’t really see what the point of that would be given that it’s such a fraught issue for me

I know that for other people it’s just a fun thing that they WANT to do and I am just not at that point of my life yet and maybe I never will be. which is nbd it’s just gonna be a weird conversation to have if I become involved w/ someone yknow

I think improving the self-esteem of young girls could be a powerful tool in steering them away from unsafe/unhealthy sexual practices in an empowering, non-creepy way. 

Like as a contrast to virginity cards and purity balls and other weirdly controlling ways of trying to force young girls to avoid sex. IMO it’s one obvious cause of unhealthy sexual practices that, for parents or other authority figures, would be pretty easy to target by preaching body positivity and the importance of self-love and self-care. 

Because among the friends I’ve had, and for myself – some of us have grown up with low self-esteem, and I see a link between believing that one isn’t traditionally beautiful, or not being sure that one is traditionally beautiful enough, and turning to sex/sexual activities like sexting for the purpose of feeling desirable and wanted. That’s like, psychologically unsafe sex – it’s sex (/sexual activity in general) just to validate that they’re a worthwhile human being, and that’s not an emotionally sound reason to be having sex. And it would be easy to unlink that whole sexual desirability = person value thing by teaching young people that they’re beautiful no matter what, regardless of their fashion choices, their hair, their bodies, or by taking the stance that beauty =/= worth at all, and that their job is not to be attractive. And then in theory these people would know that they don’t have to prove that they’re sexually desirable in order to know that they’re worthwhile. 

So like, what I’m saying is that if parents would stop dissing their kids and holding them up to standards of traditional beauty and instead eschew the notion that it is a reasonable goal to be attractive and focus more on expressing individuality through appearance or just not worrying about appearance at all, that might help avoid emotionally unsound sexual practices that occur in young people with low self esteem. 

I’m not saying, like, this is how you can keep your teenager from having sex. But I am saying this is a way you could keep your teenager from having sex for the wrong reasons. 

IDK, I’ve been reading about purity balls and they’re just so ridiculously misguided and I’m pissed about it

Oh Joy Sex Toy

A Sex Toy Comic Review Site

This is not the kind of thing that usually goes on my blog, since I tend to avoid sexual content, HOWEVER. This comic is extremely important.

It is a sex-positive, pink-coloured, cute little comic focusing on reviews of sex toys but also with things like an interview with a pole dancer, reviews of lube, etc. 

The thing I like the most about it is the variety of gender presentations shown. There’s not any comment about it in the comic (like here’s a crossdresser, this is a transgendered person) – they’re treated exactly like every other character (I shouldn’t have to say that as a good thing, but alas, it’s not the norm). There’s a variety of body types shown as well, and it’s just awesome to see skinny and fat and curvy people and men in skirts just treated as if they are, well, what they are – members of the human race just like all of us.

I guess what I’m saying is that the author effortlessly and gimmick-less-ly introduces a HUGE amount of diversity into the cast, and it’s just excellent; even if you’re asexual or not interested in sex toys, you might want to check out the comic just to see how cool it is.

It’s by Erica Moen, by the way. (Just feel that should be included.)

Oh Joy Sex Toy

For ages I have been trying to draw an orgasm using weavesilk.

This is the closest I have come thus far.

The whole drawing platform just looks like sex to me, hence the effort.

Theory, 10

10. 

Jake was at home again, richer by one phone number, poorer by some increment of social normalcy.

He felt fine. Everything felt the same. He was reminded of his thirteenth birthday. He had always held the assumption that as soon as he hit thirteen, he would by a man. He would grow chest hair and a beard and take on some element of adulthood that he had not been allowed access to in previous years, and, spontaneously, mature.

It shouldn’t have been a surprise or a disappointment to him that this did not come to pass, but it was. Even at twelve, about to enter middle school, he had hoped that he had been missing something but that it would be revealed to him and suddenly he would be independent – or even just normal. Accepted, if not popular.

On his thirteenth birthday, he accepted, finally, that manhood was not something that could be triggered on a certain date, or at a certain phase of the moon. Manhood would come independent of his wants or his needs, or how much he was bullied for being short.

Having sex with Samuel, like turning thirteen, hadn’t fixed anything.

Theory, micro-chapter 2

2.
She was spending New Year’s Eve alone, as usual, in her basement room. Wan evening light trickled through the window as it neared midnight. There was a TV upstairs but it was turned off; her parents were asleep and probably assumed that she was also.

She flopped back on the mattress that laid in the corner of her room, settling on top of a quilt, a comforter, and her pillow. The winter was bitterly cold and seemed unfeeling, uncaring. She liked the winter because she liked getting under blankets and holding her own body heat close and imagining that she had someone else to hold to her side. She also liked the cold because she preferred to masturbate with the blankets pulled up under her arms and that was implausible in the summer when it was hot.

So she turned on her ipod and slid the tiny speakers into her ears where they funneled the noise to her and nobody else could hear it and she turned on some porn and slid a hand into the warm dampness between her legs, clutching her breasts to her with her other arm and tried not to mewl for release, imagining touching a lover, imagining a lover calling her name at his own release, Willow, Willow, Willow…

Autosexual

There used to be a time in his life when, more than anything, he desired sex. He desired someone who loved him enough to have sex with him and he desired the commitment it represented and the pleasurable sensations he had heard so much about. He desired everything about sex but sex itself.

Today he only desires a woman to love him and to continue to love himself, because he thinks that involving more than one person at a time in sex is really unnecessary and could get emotions tangled up and tugged at and eventually frayed and broken.

So now he goes home and pulls up porn and masturbates, except that for others, it’s a ritual to hold off the feeling of wanting sex, while for him, it is sex. He thinks it’s better that way – freer, and it makes him happy so this is how he does it, and he doesn’t want to fix something that definitely isn’t broken.