Okay, multiplicity weirdness for the day. I’ll denote inworld people with an (i) and outworld with an (o) to keep straight who I was texting and who I was dealing with inworld (in the system).

I had a really weird night last night, I don’t even know what happened but basically my parents gave me a ‘pep talk’ for school and I got really upset and wasn’t doing well fronting. So Ianto (i) came upstairs to the window where we front and was like, dude, you have to stop. But I was like, hell no, I’m doing fine. 

So basically he started trying to drag me away from the window and I was like OH HELL NO and flipped my shit and started screaming and hitting him and such, so he was like, okay, okay, but by then I was just super upset and I was crying and holding onto him and he was like, okay, go to sleep, you’re okay, go the fuck to sleep. But I didn’t want to go to sleep, but I was tired and he was petting me so I went to sleep in my corner, and then he did something with Lou (o), texting him.

I woke up a while later because Ianto called Brian (i) up to carry me downstairs (he was talking to Lou, like, “I can’t lift the fucker” because to Ianto I am ‘the fucker’ and to Brian I am ‘brat’, it’s affectionate though). So Brian picked me up and I was so tired, I just kind of let him even though we don’t get on that well, I think they were worried about me. So Brian carried me downstairs and put me on Ianto’s couch and just kind of sat by and tried to keep me from getting up again, and then I guess I fell asleep again because after that I woke up and I got back upstairs which was kind of a struggle and I wanted to front SO BAD. But Ianto wouldn’t let me, so I just kind of laid down in his lap and slept for a while again. I was like no more than half conscious the whole night, I was just so tired from doing it all for a few days.

I think Ianto was telling Lou things about me but I don’t really know what, I wish he hadn’t though, they’re always talking about me when I’m not there and it’s totally unfair.

I managed to talk a bit outworld and I kept getting triggered by different things and I talked to Lou and Lou was triggering me about the memories I’m holding onto, it was all weird and confusing and Ianto went downstairs and sent Brian up and Brian threw me away from the window and then yelled at Lou and then I woke up this morning really cold and probably kind of sick, seeing as it’s like 79 degrees in here and I was cold under two blankets.

But now I’m just tired and having an emotional hangover.

So that was my last night.